


An Implosion

by revivalist



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Natasha-centric, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-06-09 02:26:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6885400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revivalist/pseuds/revivalist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Following immediately after her conversation with Tony, Natasha receives a call from Steve asking for help breaking the Avengers out of the RAFT. She, along with Sharon Carter, join the group and form the Secret Avengers and stop an impending threat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything! If you haven't seen Civil War, there are spoilers and the plot is heavily impacted by the events that take place. 
> 
> I'm merely picking up from Natasha's last scene in the movie, because it makes no sense that she just disappears after that. 
> 
> While this is based on events of the MCU, I am still basing the relationships that are canon from the comics as well- that being Bucky/Natasha and Steve/Sharon. So if you have an issue with either ship, please don't bring your hate for it here- especially hate geared towards Sharon (she plays a major role to the plot). Thank you!!

Despite Natasha's efforts, her team was spread out across the world and she had little to no leads as to where to find them. She didn't know if they would take her back even if she did manage it. She observed Rhodey from the large glass panels of the Avengers compound as he hobbled to a chair, out of breath and all alone. After her conversation with Tony, he was probably too busy drinking himself numb to notice. Once again, she found herself with no place in the world.

 

"Ms. Romanoff?" Vision suddenly materialized from thin air, startling her. As someone with an expertise in stealth and always having the upper hand, his ability to pop out like that was something Natasha never got used to. 

"Yes, Vision." She breathed out and grasped tighter to the bag strung across her shoulder. "I thought you promised not to do that trick unless absolutely necessary." 

"It is not a trick, but that is no matter." His glowing eyes honed in on her bag. "I come because it appears to me as though you are leaving." 

"I thought only Wanda was under house arrest. I'll be back, don't worry." She started walking away and he materialized before her again, this time latching onto her shoulder. 

"Well you see, whenever people leave and say they will come back– it's usually to go to the store, or if there is a mission. And you cannot possibly have any missions lined up, so forgive my confusion considering the compound is fully stocked with food." 

Natasha laughed quietly in frustration at Vision's logic. "Forgive my confusion if you don't see this isn't my home anymore." Natasha's throat tightened up but she swallowed it down and breathed slowly. "I have no qualms with you, Vision, and I'd like to keep it that way– Now if you'll excuse me." 

 

"If you see Wanda, tell her I wished matters could have ended more _favorably_ for us." Vision called out.

Natasha didn't say anything, her lips tightened into a hard line but she looked over her shoulder and nodded before heading to the parking garage. 

 

Natasha sighed in the closest form of relief she had felt in a long time as she slid into her black corvette. It was the only constant thing she owned. She lost guns in battle, favorite shirts blasted with bullet holes or shrapnel, and her concept of home always shifted– but somehow her corvette was all she had left. She tossed her bag into the passenger seat Steve used to occupy frequently when they were partners in SHIELD– When life was complicated, but not nearly as much as it was now. 

Before she could dwell any longer on her loneliness, her cellphone vibrated. She fished through her bag and saw it was Steve calling her. 

"Natasha?" 

"Yes, it's me. Steve, where are you?" The line was breaking up and his voice was all garbled. 

"As beautiful as it is, the only downside to Wakanda is the crappy cell service." She could practically hear the smirk in his voice. 

"Wakanda?" She breathed out and found herself biting down on her fist. "What have you gotten into? Does T'Challa know you're there?" 

"Yes, yes." There was a silence and Natasha looked to see if the connection was lost. "T'Challa was kind enough to um– Bucky's back in the ice. His men are working on crafting him another arm after Tony blasted it off."

Natasha didn't want to know what else was lost in Siberia. She was cursed with seeing both sides. 

"Is Barnes okay– did he say anything?" She tried to mask the hopeful desperation in her voice. "I just know he means a lot to you, and you've both been through hell, again." She added. 

"I don't know everything, Natasha– a strike team tearing the place apart didn't give me much time– but I saw this journal he has." He cleared his throat. "I'm in it, but so are you–"

"I told you about Odessa– it was probably about our run in there." She replied too quickly to be convincing, cursing herself for the little control she had over herself these days. 

"No, no– don't lie to me." 

"You haven't been completely honest yourself, Rogers." The defensive edge to her voice was showing, even through the phone. 

"How extensive– how far back?" He couldn't even think straight, and was surprised he was talking in a mostly understandable manner. 

"It doesn't matter." Natasha took the phone away so he couldn't hear her breath grow quicker. "The-they probably wiped him ages ago." 

"Jesus." Steve paced on the other end and stared out at the expanse of mountains and waterfalls that surrounded him. 

"If he's there in Wakanda, no government agency can get to him– that whole country is off the grid. And I know how much it hurts, but the truth is, he's safe when he's in the ice. Okay?" Steve didn't say anything, but he didn't disagree either. "Now what about the others: Sam, Wanda, Clint– how are they?" 

"You really are out of the loop on this one. Did Stark fail to mention he's got them locked up in the RAFT?" Now it was Natasha who failed to speak as she revved up the engine and veered out of the garage as quickly as possible. 

"Natasha?" 

"I'm here, I'm here." She let out a slow, shaky breath, her eyes darting around as she tried to figure where she was heading. "Steve– the RAFT? Are you sure Stark was behind that?" Her mind was reeling and she missed her turn. "I mean, that place is a death sentence, reserved for the worst of the worst. It's like locking up a box and throwing it at the bottom of the ocean, it's–"

"Nat, I know. What we need to focus on is getting them outta there." 

"We?" She huffed. "You still trust me?" 

 

"When you asked me if I trusted you to save my life and I said yes, I meant it. Just because we didn't see eye to eye doesn't mean I didn't respect your decision– doesn't mean my respect for you has diminished. You saved me, and Bucky, back at the airport. God knows we'd been minced meat if T'Challa had his way with us." 

Natasha didn't want to dwell on the sentiments of his words. 

"You may be good– but despite your training with SHIELD, you're still shit when it comes to computers compared to me." She was glad she could still make him laugh. "You wouldn't make it past the RAFT's security if they spot you coming a mile away. You, or I rather, would need to disable the mainframe and loop the security footage. And then there's the matter of transportation–"

"So I take it you're in?" Steve interrupted. 

"Yes." Natasha turned onto the interstate, a vague idea of where she was going and hating she didn't have a plan. "Where do we meet? SHIELD left behind a few stealth quinjets." 

"I'll give you the coordinates. Does anyone at the compound know where you're at? Are they onto you?" 

Natasha chuckled to herself. "Just Vision getting weepy over Wanda, if it's possible for an android to get weepy." She worried her bottom lip before continuing. "Tony's beside himself, the kid he recruited was shipped back to Queens, and well, I don't know if you know this– Rhodey is paralyzed." She anticipated his reaction and impatiently added: "It's not your fault, Steve. Nobody could've foreseen that would happen– We can talk about it after we get them out of there." 

"Alright." He sighed heavily and rubbed at his temples. "What's your ETA?" 

"I have to pick up someone first." 

" _Nat_." She laughed at his concerned tone and could just imagine his face. 

"Don't worry, it'll be fun." She smirked. 

"Whatever you're doing, stay low, stay safe, and hurry up." 

"I am the one who taught you that." She laughed and kept silent about the fact he seemed incapable of following that same advice. 

"I know. See you soon, Nat." 

"See you soon." It was more than a goodbye, it was a promise. 

With that, Natasha set out for Albany where the quinjets were held in an underground SHIELD facility. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha makes a stop from meeting Steve to recruit Sharon Carter to help with the infiltration of the RAFT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introduction of Sharon, as well as Everett Ross! Unfortunately, their characters in the movies didn't have much time for me to grasp as I'd like. So it's a mixture of comic and the bits we've seen so far.

Sharon Carter opened the door of her office to find Everett Ross sitting on the edge of her desk. 

"Ms. Carter, please come in." He gestured her to take a seat before him.

"Thank you, but this is my office, you know?" She let out a small laugh of nervousness and incredulity. She eyed him over her coffee mug as she took a long sip. 

"It's close to being someone else's, what with the internal investigation impending on you." 

Sharon's heart skipped a beat and she set her coffee mug down on the desktop before instinctively crossing her arms to mirror Mr. Ross's dominant stance. "Good use of alliteration– but I haven't done anything wrong." 

Ross shook his head and laughed to himself. "You know, being a SHIELD transfer and all, I've been wary of you since the start. So when you requested time off to attend your poor Aunt Peggy's funeral, I sent a couple agents to pay their respects as well." 

Sharon turned away and covered her mouth as a sudden wave of nausea came over her. She turned back around when she heard something drop on her desk. Surveillance photos of her, Steve, and Sam talking in a hotel room, of her slipping a note to Steve in a cafe, of her opening the trunk of her car with the stolen Avengers gear in it. 

"This one's _quite_ interesting." He plucked one from stack of her and Steve kissing. "I also have documentation of you requesting to be the agent assigned to this case. I knew Rogers and his gang of vigilantes couldn't have gotten away from the government so many times without an inside man, or should I say inside woman." 

"What's the point to all this? Are you just rubbing it in my face?" 

"Well, _yes_." He cracked a wide grin. "I'm always right. And you should also know traitors are not handled kindly here." 

"Duly noted." She swallowed and nodded before straightening up. "Now I'll kindly ask that you take you and your pathetic intimidation act out of my office while it's still mine, sir." 

Ross's eyes bulged and cheeks grew red before he snatched up the photos. "Be at the council room 8:30 tomorrow morning for your inquisition trial before the board." With that, he stormed away. 

She sighed before taking another sip of her coffee only to find it had grown cold. She braced herself for the glares she was bound to get from coworkers as she went to the kitchen to heat it up. 

 

Sharon shut her office door and locked it before allowing herself to breathe. 

"Hello, Sharon." A warm voice called to her and the agent jolted from surprise before whipping around to see it was Natasha. 

"What are you doing?" She quickly closed the blinds over the glass door. "You're putting your life and my job on the line by being here."

"I know, but there's no going back for either of us." Natasha stood from the swivel chair with a small shrug. "Is there?"

"I knew what I was risking when I decided to help Steve." She replied firmly. 

Natasha smiled at that, understanding all too well what she meant. "Are you willing to do it one more time?" 

"He's already gotten himself into trouble?" Sharon joked. 

"Trouble follows Steve everywhere, but he never tries to throw it off his scent." Natasha continued. "Here's what you need to know: all members against the Accords have been locked up in the RAFT–"

"The RAFT? Jesus, Natasha." Sharon rubbed her forehead and began pacing around the room. "I'd prefer aliens coming from the sky than infiltrating that mess of security."

"I never said it would be easy, but he needs all the help he can get." Natasha clasped onto Sharon's shoulders, staring intently into her eyes for any signs of doubt or reluctance; she found none. 

"Thank you for thinking of me." Sharon smiled warmly at Natasha with a sense of determination in her stance. "I'm ready when you are." 

"Our ride is on the roof."

"We can take the stairs–" Sharon started. 

"No, not here." Natasha pulled out a small remote and pressed a button, which deactivated the stealth mode. A quinjet appeared before Sharon's eyes parked on the top of a shopping mall next door. "I didn't want to go through security." 

Sharon laughed at her nonchalant nature. "Oh this is going to be fun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all feedback– it is greatly appreciated!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha and Sharon go to pick up Steve as they go over their plan to attack the RAFT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because this chapter is dialogue heavy as the last, I felt bad so I'm just gonna post it now to get a move on with this story. The next chapter is where the action will begin and I can promise Bucky and Natasha will interact soon!!

Sharon piloted the quinjet with a course set for the coordinates Steve texted them. Natasha dozed off in the copilot chair for some time before awaking from the nap. Her eyes absentmindedly glazed over the expanse of clouds below them. 

"I meant what I said, Sharon." Natasha glanced over at her, concerned. 

"Don't you always?" She laughed softly, not picking up on the grave nature of her words. 

"I did everything I could to keep the Avengers together– was even foolish enough to believe Steve would listen to to my logic when his heart was already set. He can be so..."

"Determined?" Sharon tried. 

"I was thinking stubborn." They laughed together at that, but it quickly died down when her sullen expression returned. "That's where we're different, I guess..." Natasha trailed off, casting her eyes away towards the clouds again. "Steve can start a one man war against the whole world and I– I just can't stand being alone these days." She cleared her throat and shook her head upon realizing she divulged too much. "The point is: We are officially criminals in 117 different countries. We'll be hunted down for the rest of our lives." 

"Placing your loyalty with Steve is a risk– believe me, I know, but once you realize what he's fighting for– I can't imagine it any other way." She shook her head softly. "I lost my job, because of this! Ross had the audacity to send agents to follow me after the funeral. Can you believe that?!" She slammed her fists on the wheel; Natasha stayed silent and merely waited for her to continue. "I can't believe I lost my job over surveillance photos of Steve and I..." Natasha's eyes lit up with a less than pure curiosity; she arched her brow at the tongue-tied agent.

"No! It was just a kiss, I promise." She put a hand over her mouth to mask her nervous laughter and the smile spreading across her face. 

"I have to ask-" Natasha grinned. 

" _No_ , no you don't-" Sharon tried to stop her. 

"How was it?" 

"We are _so_ not having this conversation." She turned back to the controls lest Nat see her flushed face, thankful the gps signaled their arrival. 

"You're lucky we're here, but don't think this is the end of it." Natasha smirked to herself and folded her arms confidently across her chest as they touched down to the location. They saw Steve leaning against a tree with a small smile on his face, already geared in his navy blue stealth suit. 

"I've always wanted to be called to Japan." Sharon commented as she opened the hatch for him. 

"Unfortunately, in our line of business there isn't much time for sightseeing." He said while entering the quinjet. 

"Steve, good to see you." Sharon bolted up from her seat and wrung her fingers nervously. Natasha merely turned around in her seat and continued smirking at the two. 

"You too." Steve bowed his head to Sharon with a sheepish smile that tugged at the corners of his lips. When he saw his friend's smug expression, he averted his attention to her: "Natasha, you look _comfortable_." 

"As much as one can be in kevlar. Now, if small talk is over," Natasha clapped her hands together and moved to the pilot seat to depart once more. "Let's get down to business." She flicked a switch and Steve and Sharon watched the panels of the quinjet reflect their outside surroundings. 

 

"Hey, Nat?" Steve picked up a duffel bag and opened it to find a slew of weapons and gadgets. "StarkTech? What does it do?" He fished out a bulky device with many dials and blinking lights. 

"Change of plans." Natasha answered, shifting the quinjet into autopilot once they were in the air. "Even if we loop the security cameras, there's still a risk someone will catch on and alert authorities." Steve's body tensed, assuming she meant they would have to kill. "So instead of that, this will fry the place's electricity and subsequently their mainframe." 

"And the gas masks?" Sharon pulled out one of many in the bag and arched a brow at them and ten metal canisters. "I'm assuming this gas isn't lethal, right? I'm not killing anyone." 

"Just your not-so standard knock out gas to speed up the process," She shrugged. "And to make sure there aren't any potential leaks." 

"If you cut out the power, assuming Tony's stuff actually works, how are we supposed to see?" 

"The masks are also one of Tony's inventions– try it on." Natasha nudged her head at them encouragingly. Steve and Sharon tentatively slipped the masks over their heads. "Now press the button on the side." As she said this, she moved to kill the lights. When they did as instructed, the goggles suddenly glowed a bright green and they could only see an outline of their surroundings and Natasha standing before them. 

"Speaking of which, we should probably cut off any frequencies so we fly in dead." Steve suggested after pulling the mask off his face. 

"I'm glad you called, because this certainly isn't a one man job, Steve." Sharon turned to him while Natasha made busy with switching off all communication devices. "Even for a man such as yourself." She poked her pointer finger at his sturdy chest. 

Steve laughed and opened his mouth to argue before Natasha called out: "We're approaching the site in ten." She moved to retrieve something from a side compartment of her bag and tossed it to Sharon. 

"What is this?" The agent unfolded the smooth textured garment. 

"You aren't infiltrating a prison that wrote the definition of 'maximum security' in a pair of slacks and pumps." Natasha reasoned, opening the door to the bathroom for her to change. 

"Nat's right." Steve shrugged and watched her disappear into the bathroom before turning to Natasha. 

 

"Yes, she's ready for this." Natasha said before he could get a word out. 

"How do you know that was what I was going to ask?" He smiled with gritted teeth, hating the fact he just said she's right just moments ago. 

"Because you always start second guessing things before every mission and whatever you were about to say, you waited until Sharon was gone. You're more transparent than you think, Rogers." She joked with that smirk of hers that made his blood boil when he was stressed. 

"I know she has the training, but this is a whole 'nother ballpark." 

"Before SHIELD fell, even before the Avengers Initiative, Fury had me on residential probation after a sting op went bad. He thought my best use of time while I waited for the doctor's to clear me for field work again was to be a trainee." 

"I'm learning new things about you everyday, Natasha." He cracked a grin at her. "But what does this have to do with anything?" 

"I wasn't her supervising officer, too busy training a HYDRA scumbag in the making*, but let's just say I've seen Sharon hit a fair share of home runs. She doesn't need to sit on the bench for this one." 

"I'm glad you think this is funny but I'm serious, Natasha-"

 

"Serious about _what_?" Sharon emerged donning a suit similar to Natasha's but it was white and not adorned with any of the accessories the spy had gleaned over the years. All she had was the thigh holster Peggy gifted her. 

"You look really good, Sharon." Natasha said from the corner of her mouth, elbowing Steve for not saying anything at all.

" _Thank you, Nat_." Steve growled under his breath at her. "Yes, you look great– Are we all ready?" 

"Almost." Natasha grabbed the device and the other two watched her press a complicated series of buttons and switches, fingers moving rapidly, and she looked up to see the place go dark. "There." She smiled contently while cocking her handgun. 

"Whoa!" Sharon waved for her to put the piece down, looking over to Steve who was too concentrated on landing the quinjet to notice. "You agreed no killing." 

"The only thing I'm going to be killing with this," Natasha held it up for her to see. "Are the generators, okay?" 

 

"We're in." Steve informed while tightening his gloves with a look of determination that only comes from recusing the ones you love, a concept he was all too familiar with. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The MCU RAFT is different from the one in the comics, which is located off Rikers Island. The location doesn't mean anything to the plot tbh.
> 
> Introduction of Sharon/ Agent 13's costume, which we have yet to see in the movies. Here's what it looks like if anyone is wondering:  
> [comic costume](http://m.imgur.com/uvpEsQE?r)
> 
>    
>  [how she will look in this fic](http://www.vylla-art.com/tagged/sharon-carter-defense-squad)
> 
> **Oh and can you guess which SHIELD agent turned HYDRA Natasha was talking about training? Hint: they're from Agents of SHIELD tv show


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha, Sharon, and Steve bust the team out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *there's a brief, non-graphic scene of Wanda throwing up towards the end because she is having a panic attack (in case anyone is triggered by that)

As soon as they got out of the quinjet, a swarm of guards circled around them. Ten of them, all outfitted in body armor and heavily armed.

"I don't like this whole 'bringing fists to a gunfight' schtick of yours." Natasha uttered from the corner of her mouth to Steve, who cracked a smile before plowing his way through the group.

"We can take care of this." Sharon told her after throwing an elbow at a guard coming at her from behind. Natasha finished him off by electrocuting him with a widow's bite. They nodded in agreement, solidifying their trust for one another, before Nat ran off to plant the gas canisters in the ventilation system. 

As soon as she took off, Sharon was greeted by two guards on either side of her. Steve was already rushing towards her after socking one in the jaw and tossing his gun away. But with no hesitation, Sharon jumped and extended her legs so she kicked both guards in the solar plexus. Steve faltered to a stop before her. 

"That was very _impressive_." He breathed out, trying to contain his amazement, but utterly failing. 

"I've been practicing." Sharon waved him off, but secretly relished his expression before it was covered by a gas mask. She took that as her cue to do the same. Before they could enter, however, a second wave of guards flanked them. 

Sharon hooked her leg onto the shoulder of one and sent him crashing into the wall. She internally thanked Natasha for supplying her with her own suit, knowing she couldn't have executed such high kicks to the face in a pair of slacks and pumps as she said. 

Steve grabbed a guard's wrist and twisted it out of place when they came at him with a stun gun. The guard cried out before being knocked out in a sleeper hold. He used the unconscious guard as shield against the last man standing, who was running with great determination towards Steve, before Sharon tackled him to the ground and pressed down on the pressure point in his neck until he stopped thrashing underneath her.

 

"I think that's the last of them." Sharon rose to her feet and dusted herself off. Steve followed next to her as they entered the facility.

Just as Natasha planned, the place was dark and littered with bodies all under the effects of the gas. They switched on the night vision and saw the full effect of her work. 

"How are we going to find our way through this mess?" Steve's eyes scanned the dozens of corridors and hallways. His train of thought was interrupted by the sound of muffled clamor above that was only increasing in proximity. A ceiling tile crashed onto the floor and Natasha gracefully landed on her feet before them. 

"With no comm links, it's a miracle I found you guys." Natasha commented while walking down corridor three, casually stepping over the bodies that impeded her path. 

"Where are you going?" Steve called after her, almost tripping on someone as he followed after. When he grabbed her arm and tugged her back, Natasha finally stopped. 

"Steve, the effect's of this gas will start wearing off within the next hour." She informed him. "While I was placing the canisters throughout the building, I saw through the vents where they are being held. Corridor three, section fifty-four." 

"I'll go find where they're keeping their costumes... _Gear_." Sharon corrected herself. "And meet you guys there." 

Steve watched her disappear round a corner before Natasha tugged on his arm and brought him back. "Come on, lover boy." They looked to one another and couldn't keep a straight face before jogging towards section fifty-four together.

 

"I can't believe I'm going to die dressed in scrubs." Sam gestured at their prison attire, sinking into his cot. 

"At least it's better than the time I was ambushed in the shower." Clint commented. "Assassins have no respect for me time."

"Okay, but how many people can say they died for Captain America?" Scott jumped up from his bed upon realizing this fact. "Come on! That's freaking awesome, guys." When he was met with silence and no way to gauge their expressions in the dark, he turned away and muttered to himself to 'be cool'. 

Steve busted the door to their containment hatch with a single kick, sending it flying and crashing into Clint's cell. The glass wall shattered and the archer merely shrugged and stepped outside of the mess. 

"I really hope you're the good guys." He said while trying to make out the basic outline of who it was with his hands.

"Depends on who you ask." Steve replied nonchalantly while Natasha used the StarkTech to put the generators back online. Soon enough, the lights flickered on and Clint laughed, relieved for the first time in weeks, before clasping him in a tight hug. 

Steve pulled away when he made eye contact with Sam smirking from behind the glass, just as he imagined him. He approached him in the cell and mirrored his smirk with his own. 

"I knew you couldn't function without me– coming in here, wrecking shit like the Hulk. You're a mess!" Sam joked as Natasha hacked the security coding on the doors and opened it for him. She observed the predictable bear hug that ensued as soon as he was free. 

"And _you_ ," Sam pointed at Natasha after they finished. "You." He cracked a smile at how impossible she made it for him to think of any words, and instead elected to pull her into crushing hug as well. 

"So, are we just going to keep hugging each other- or are we gonna get the hell outta here?" Clint asked in the midst of everything. 

"Oh thank God!" Scott breathed out in relief, practically throwing himself against Steve's solid build. "I don't know how much longer I could've survived off the food here." 

" _I guess so_." The archer muttered to himself. 

"Dude, this is all coming from the guy who spent three years locked up in San Quentin." Sam huffed at Scott.

"Well, I'm glad that was the worst of it." Steve gave him an awkward pat on the back before pulling him off. 

"Some of us had it worse than others." Clint muttered quietly, bowing his head and shifting his gaze towards Wanda, who was still bound and refusing to leave her cell. 

"Lemme handle this." Steve raised his hand subtly for everyone to stay back as he slowly approached her. Natasha shared a concerned glance with Sam, who was standing rigid at her side.

 

"Wanda, we can go home now." Steve reassured her, crouching down so he was at eye level. The muzzle that covered Wanda's mouth muffled her frantic screams and she scooted away from him, furthering herself into a corner. "What's her status?" He asked without looking away. 

"She resisted arrest," Clint started off calmly, but couldn't hold his cool exposure for long. "So they put a goddamn shock collar on her like she's some kinda animal–" Natasha rubbed his shoulder and he slowly lost the tension in his body. Steve took a small blade from his belt and cut through it without a problem.

Sharon ran in when she heard crying and saw Wanda huddled on the floor and hyperventilating. "Everybody out." She handed the bag of their gear to Scott before adding: "Please, I have specialized training in this." 

Steve's eyes darted between Wanda and Sharon before he conceded and guided everyone outside. 

Sharon instructed her to breathe slowly on her count, but it was so overwhelming that all Wanda could do was throw up while Sharon held her hair out of the way. After she finished, Wanda's body began to stop shaking and she was able to do the breathing exercises. 

Once she was calm, Sharon explained she was going to kick the clamps on her hands and Wanda gave a consenting nod before hesitantly holding her arms out. Sharon struck down on the weak point with her heel and they fell to the floor. Wanda anxiously wrung her hands and muttered a small 'thank you'. It was all she could muster. 

"Sorry to interrupt," Natasha poked her mask-clad head in. "But some people are waking up ahead of schedule." She tossed one to Sharon for Wanda to put on, who immediately shook her head and backed away. 

"Look at me, Wanda." Sharon pulled her identical mask over her own face. "I promise you it will not hurt." Wanda narrowed her eyes to discern the agent was telling the truth and reluctantly pulled it over her face before joining the rest of the group outside.

Sharon watched Wanda gravitate to Clint before turning to Steve: "She is going to need a lot of time to move past this, you know?" 

"Of course, but you did great– _again_." Steve pulled her closer, their laughs muffled through the mask that was making it impossible for them to kiss.

"Add it to the list." Sharon replied before rushing to join the fight of employees and guards waking up. 

They all managed to get into the quinjet unharmed and relieved to be free.

"Where to, Cap?" Clint called over his shoulder from where he sat quite content in the pilot chair. 

"Wakanda." 

"Wa-Wakanda?" Scott scrambled to his feet, his eyes wide as he looked at everyone else's calm faces. "I can't– What about Cassie?" He ran his fingers through his hair. "Not that this wasn't great and all– but can we make a pit stop or something?" 

"I promise you that you'll see your daughter." Natasha reassured him. "But right now, the safest place for you to be, for her sake just as much as yours, is off the grid." She watched his whole body deflate at her words. "Nobody got here without sacrifice."

They all tried not to dwell on all the things they left behind as they sat silently the rest of the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not too happy with how the chapter turned out, but I am excited as to where it's heading and didn't want to keep you guys waiting :)
> 
> For those of you wondering when buckynat is going to happen, it's going to happen v soon!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group arrived in Wakanda and Steve and Natasha visit with Bucky, who has awoken from the ice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Natasha interact!! More to come.

Upon landing in Wakanda, the group was welcomed by the king himself and his bodyguards. Natasha's eyes flashed in momentary concern upon seeing him, as well as one of the guards she recognized. 

"T'Challa." She barely stopped herself from gasping his name out. 

"Ms. Romanoff," He took a step forward and observed how she tightened up in defense, no doubt seen as a hostile after tasering him multiple times. "You seem surprised to encounter me in my own kingdom." 

Steve stood nearby and observed their interaction with a mixture of caution and curiosity, not used to seeing Natasha tongue tied. "It's not– No, I must apologize for our last encounter at-" 

"Do not bother." T'Challa interrupted with a firm voice, raising his hand in the air to halt her words. Natasha only tensed up even more until the king reached out and clasped her hand with his own. "It is I who should _thank you_ from stopping me from myself. If you hadn't, more innocent blood would have been shed." 

Both Steve and Natasha relaxed at this, the rest of the group not paying attention or aware of what occurred between them that led up to this moment. 

"Steve," T'Challa shifted his attention to the man standing nearby and the two embraced one another. "I have come not only to welcome your safe arrival, but to notify you of your friend's awakening. Come with me." The two started to leave and Natasha's concerns and self doubt that her presence might agitate Bucky's fragile state momentarily refrained her from doing anything. _But she had to know_. 

"I would like to join you both." Natasha piped up, her fingers wringing together. Steve gave her a quizzical look, but neither held any issue with it. She watched the rest of the group being ushered by the Dora Milage into another direction of the palace. 

"I'm assuming not much could be done in regards to his brain." Steve commented as the three walked through the endless stone cut hallways. T'Challa slowed to a stop, his head bowing in disappointment. 

"Whatever was done to him, it defies the realm of science." He explained, and already Natasha felt herself grow cold from how much she understood the truth of his words. "It's nature is far, _far_ darker." 

"Your highness?" The head scientist in charge of Bucky's recovery interrupted. T'Challa excused himself from the pair to speak with the woman. 

"I really don't think this is the best idea, Natasha." Steve whispered to her while T'Challa was still busy. "Considering your encounters with him have all been hostile–"

"You don't know that." Natasha was quick to cut him off, her voice sharp enough that he was subtly taken aback. "There's a lot that you don't know, Steve." She sighed, knowing that was just an invitation for more prying questions. He grasped her arm and tugged her closer, not rough enough for her to be concerned, but enough to get her attention. It was a habit of his she wasn't fond of– but she supposed her wasn't fond of her keeping secrets, so she really couldn't complain. 

"Then why won't you just tell me what the hell is going on? How do you know Bucky?" His eyes were darting about, analyzing her calm and slightly somber face. "Did he kill your parents too?" Considering he believed her to be born in 1984, as Zola said, she wasn't surprised by his theory. 

"No," Natasha laughed softly, dismissing him. "My parents died in a house fire in 1929," She said simply, arching her brow at his dumbfounded expression. Before Steve could react or form any words to respond, they both noticed someone enter the room. 

"Bucky!" Steve sighed in relief and quickly moved towards him. He raised his newly installed metal hand to stop his friend from coming any closer. Steve faltered to a stop, his shoulders dropped. 

"What is it, Buck?" He asked softly, watching his friend turn away and rub tirelessly at his temples. 

"It's me– but only like, 80%." James explained, his voice cracking as he spoke. His eyes locked on Natasha, who was standing cautiously in the background. "I'm not all there yet. But I will be soon."

"You want us to come back another time?" Steve asked with equally hopeful and understanding eyes. He was eager to see him recover, but knew it would take some time. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry." James looked like he was attempting to reach out to Steve, but he was still trying to gain control over his new arm. Natasha looked away to the churning waterfall outside while nervously biting her nails. 

"Okay, well just tell someone when you're ready– we're here to help." Steve refrained from clasping his shoulder, willing his arm to stay by his side. He opted for a simple nod before leaving him alone once more. Natasha reluctantly began to exit as well, cursing herself for not having any words to say, when a voice– so small she thought she'd imagined it, cut through the silence. 

" _Not you_." The voice said. She whipped around to see James staring intensely at her. Natasha's breath caught in her throat and goosebumps erupted all over, chilling her. Her heart sank when she thought he meant she was not welcomed back, but then he continued: "I want you– would like for you to come back this evening." 

"Would you like me to tell–"

" _No!_ " He cut her off sharply, but his voice quickly softened. "No. Don't tell anyone, not even Steve." 

Natasha nodded quickly in agreement before leaving when she heard Steve calling her name through the halls. She didn't realize that she was holding her breath the entire time until she left the room and exhaled all at once. So many questions were racing through her head; she didn't want to get her hopes up, but it was so hard not to. Before she could entertain the thought that he remembered her, them, Steve turned a corner and found her. 

" _Natasha_." He sighed in relief. "T'Challa has been talking about throwing a party in our honor and what not, and I turn to ask if that's something you're interested in, and you're not there." He placed his hands on his hips, which he always does when something strange is going on. "Where'd ya go?" His smile dissolved as he watched her walk quicker than he thought possible away from Bucky's room, but he managed to keep in stride with her. 

"I guess I got lost." She muttered. "Don't worry about it." 

"You know, usually when you say _'don't worry about it'_ is exactly the time I should start to worry about it." He half-joked, an underlying level of seriousness in his statement. But he knew if he confronted Natasha directly instead of letting her open up, she would immediately shut down. Just like Bucky. "Remember you said that in Ordos and the whole place was nearly wiped off the map by AIM?" 

"Yeah, good times." Natasha replied absentmindedly, which only frustrated Steve further. What was on her mind? Why wouldn't she just tell him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to cut this chapter in half because it was running long- the other half should be up soon. Sorry my updating is so sporadic. Thank you for all the support!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Natasha's meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to keep this in character, but it's hard to gauge how they would talk to one another since...they never have in the movies....yet!

Natasha managed to cut away from the group, excusing herself early from dinner that night. Steve narrowed his eyes as he watched her leave before Sam pulled him back to their conversation.

Surprisingly, there was no guard details surrounding his room and then she gathered he probably requested they leave for the evening. She peered through the doorway and for some time, she was content just watching him jotting something down in his notebook and muttering to himself. A part of Natasha thought it was best she leave, thinking she was nothing more than a heaping pile of confusion to him.

 

"Hello." She finally dared to cut through the silence. James turned around and there was a gleam in his eyes she didn't want to misplace. 

"You came." He smiled, small and crooked, but for her. She never thought she'd live to see it after they took him away, punished them in different ways. When she realized she was staring too long, she reluctantly tore her eyes away to the ground. 

"Always–" Her lips stopped before they formed the name she wanted to call him. Shaking her head, she realized she couldn't confuse him like that. "I don't know what to call you." 

James' eyes flickered to the ground, and his metal and human fingers wrung together. It took him a moment to lift his head back up and look at her once more, the shame and fear muddling his eyes and lining his features. 

"What do you know me as?" 

She predicted the question, but it still took her off guard. There's a major difference between acknowledging something in your head and having to verbalize it. By answering, she would have to accept that he didn't remember her– decades have passed and she found she was still not ready. 

"We made names for ourselves." Natasha huffed at how much of an understatement that was. Then she began circling around the room, falling out of orbit with James. "First you were the American, _the Asset_ ," Everywhere she went, his eyes followed intently. "Then they made you into the Winter Soldier–" She stopped dead in front of him once more, biting down on her tongue to stop her from saying the name she promised she wouldn't utter for she feared neither was ready. She did it anyways. "But you have always been James to me." 

His eyes flashed with a flicker of recognition, twitching slightly as if the name had a direct effect to his programming. 

"I do not have a name anymore. I am only what others know me as." His voice was rough and quiet, as if it physically pained him to say that. That was the first thing they took from him. Then his whole demeanor washed over with sudden darkness and he gritted his teeth at the memory of him choking her, hitting him like a tidal wave. " _Was I James even when I tried to kill you?_ " His chest began to heave and he bolted up from his chair. Natasha's eyes shifted to the monitor that displayed his vitals as they became unstable. 

"Yes, I don't blame you for what they did to you." She replied calmly. His breathing was still too fast and his fists began to coil at his sides, the sound of metal grinding from how tightly his hand was balled up startled her. His lips began moving, as if he was trying to say something; it sounded like 'go', but she couldn't be sure. She didn't want to go– This was the closest she has been to James when he wasn't trying to kill her in ages. His breath was fanning against her skin and the sensation caused a resurgence of memories she would compartmentalize for later. 

"Stay with me." Natasha whispered, her hand even daring to rest on his shoulder. He flinched at first, and she feared it was a risk she should not have taken, but he didn't move away. "Keep talking to me, _please_." 

" _It's been so long_." He hissed softly, speaking more to himself. 

When Natasha thought he was calmer, she began to remove her hand. James' metal hand suddenly moved at an inhuman speed to grab her wrist. She jerked in reaction, but when she saw his eyes pleading and his grip loosened, she allowed him to place her hand back to its original place on his shoulder. 

"I didn't mean to uh, startle you." He licked his lips, his mouth running dry. "I just– can you keep it there?" When Natasha nodded slowly in agreement, her eyes wide trying to read his face, he carefully let go of her wrist once more before speaking once more. "I don't know what to call you either." He admitted quietly, leaning in slightly, as if telling a secret. 

Natasha wanted to retreat. Her chest stung with stabs of hurt, fury, and embarrassment. She was a fool to get her hopes up. Her hand stopped rubbing and trembled slightly where it still rested on his shoulder. She stopped her mind from reeling, knowing he would not benefit from her upset energy. She watched his lips move, but nothing else seemed to matter. 

"Steve called you Natasha, but that's not it. Not quite." He narrowed his eyes in confusion. These words made her snap back, a renewed hope forming. "It just doesn't sit right on my tongue." 

"Can I ask what you do remember?"

"You know when you first wake up and you open your eyes and everything is blurry?" Natasha nodded, not entirely sure where he was going. "Well, that's how I am right now. You're just this blur in my head, but-" His lips tightened into a firm line and he shook his head at his inability to remember. "I knew you." 

Past tense. 

Natasha's whole body deflated, her hand slipping off his shoulder and falling limp to her side. James' eyes darted about her in concern as she detached. She turned her back to him, her head bowed and thick locks of hair blocking her face. He thought the stiff silence between them was killing him until he heard a stifled sob escape her. 

James' carefully turned Natasha around to find streams of tears rolling down her flushed cheeks. He shook his head once more in confusion, not sure what he said to trigger this. Before he could apologize, Natasha took a deep breath before closing the space between them, wrapping her arms around him. Her head replaced her hand and rested on his shoulder. It took his mind a moment to process this was not a threat before his arms consumed her smaller frame. 

" _I used to be Natalia_." She choked out, watching a tear roll to the tip of her nose before dropping onto his shirt. His arms tightened instinctively around her when she uttered her real name. She sighed in relief, relishing the feel of his body pressed firm against her– dreams not doing justice to this bittersweet reality they now shared. 

"Natalia." He breathed out, pulling her away slightly so he could look at her face once more. She could sense him putting the pieces together. "James." 

"But that's not who we are anymore." She warned him, worried she was putting ideas in his head. "You said so yourself your name is Bucky."

"But I know you." He continued, his voice soft and airy. She never thought she would hear him sound like that again, so young. "Even in Berlin, when that psychologist got to me, somehow you managed to cut through. I saw your face clearly for the first time, if only for a moment." His eyes grew foggy again and the lightness was gone upon remembering what it was he saw: Natasha pinned to a table with his hand around her throat. "How did you do it?" 

"Cognitive recalibration?" She didn't sound as convincing as she hoped, and James saw through that. 

"I don't wanna be in the dark, Nat-" He started to say her real name, the muscles in his mouth used to saying it, but he remembered what she said. "Natasha." 

"And I don't want to confuse you with memories that are not your own." She said firmly, crossing her arms together and turning away from him again. "There is one possible alternative, but it's too risky." 

" _Please_." 

"I couldn't do that to you." Natasha said over her shoulder, looking to see his jaw begin to quiver and eyes brimming with emotion, such a contrast to the steeled over coldness she saw in him whenever he tried to kill her. 

"It is torture to have these emotions, and not know why I feel them. It is torture to try and piece scraps of my life together, over and over, after people are done using me– and have all that progress lost when someone decides to wipe me again." He sighed frustratedly before taking a step closer to her. "Any chance I can get anything back, _anything_ , I'll take it." It was the first decision he would make for himself in ages, and Natasha could see a cocktail of emotions brewing within him. 

"Wanda isn't stable right now." 

"The magic kid?"

"Yes," Natasha laughed softly at that, looking up to see a small smile spreading on his face. She felt the urge to hold him again, to taste that smile, to give into the happiness she was so unaccustomed to. But with a similar smile of her own, she kept those childlike feelings to herself. "She has advanced abilities of entering a person's mind and altering reality. I'm still not sure if it's magic though."

"But she can help me?" James' voice was so hopeful, it scared the skeptic inside her, the part that anticipated when misfortune would happen. 

"I don't know. I shouldn't have said anything. I can talk to her, see what she says." 

"Okay, thank you."

Natasha glanced to the monitor again to see she had been visiting with him for the better part of an hour, but one thing still pressed on her mind. "Can I ask why you wanted to meet me alone?" The question threw James off, he himself hadn't stopped to consider this.

"I don't know." He ran his metal fingers through his hair. "It just felt like the right thing to do, almost like instinct. You know?" He shrugged, knowing that wasn't the answer she probably wanted. He observed her melancholy smile as if she was reflecting on something he didn't have the luxury of knowing himself. 

"I know all too well." Was all she said, a taunting reply that made him curious as she began to walk away. He quickly reached for her wrist once more to stop her from leaving. When she turned to look at him, he saw the contentment of nostalgia wash over her, a feeling he wanted as well. 

"Tell me." He pleaded. 

"Perhaps if Wanda pulls through, I won't have to." Natasha smiled warmly at him and hesitated before pressing a slow kiss to his stubbled cheek. They whispered soft goodnights to each other, yet another thing that felt natural to him without understanding why, before she disappeared into the darkness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this was cheesy, but these two kids can be so emotional at times!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Natasha agree to ask for Wanda's help in getting Bucky's memories back. Bucky recalls one their many missions together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics means flashback. Bucky and Natasha are called James and Natalia, but it's the same people to be clear :)

Natasha observed Wanda interacting with the group, finally leaving the self-imposed isolation of her quarters. This gladdened her, seeing just how young she was when she did smile and even laugh. Natasha would never tell them, but Sam and Scott could be quite funny. She glanced up at Clint standing in one of the many balconies, also surveying the scene. Their eyes met and he jokingly saluted her. The only other person she didn't see was Steve–

"Natasha." His voice cut through her train of thought, saying her name with much restraint. "Can I talk to you inside?" She eyed him warily before joining him behind closed doors. "I'm going to honest with you-"

"I'm glad." she joked.

"I'm serious." He started rubbing his chin like he always did when something was eating at him. "Last night at dinner," He began cautiously before Natasha interrupted.

" _You were spying on us_." Her eyes went dead as she glared at him. He couldn't hide how surprised he was whenever she could read him so quickly.

"Let me explain." Steve held his hands up in defense, even though Natasha was eerily calm. "Last night at dinner, I got a notification that Bucky's vitals were abnormal. I asked if it was being looked into, and they replied that Bucky asked that everyone posted leave for the evening." He paused to scratch his head and choose his words. "So, I go to his room, and uh, found you beat me to the punch."

There was a long pause, both gauging each other, trying to find the information the other was withholding.

"Great minds think alike." Natasha deflected.

"Yeah, but I don't know what's going on in yours." As soon as Steve said that, he knew he pressed too hard. "Nat, this isn't an interrogation." At that, she scoffed at him before walking away. "I'm your friend– both of you are my friends!" He sighed in relief when that made her stop.

 

"He needs a little help recovering his memories, wants Wanda to use her powers–"

"Where did he get that idea from?" When she didn't say anything, he knew it was her doing. "Nat, _no_. Okay?"

"You don't think I'm not kicking myself for even mentioning it?" She raised her voice at him, but lowered it upon the chance someone was listening in. "It's a risk for both him and Wanda. But if it works..." She trailed off.

Steve reluctantly entertained her idea: "Bucky would get his memories back, and Wanda would see she can use her powers for good."

 

Steve and Natasha stood outside Wanda's door and before they could knock, she swung it open.

"Something is clouding your minds." Wanda tilted her head curiously, her bright eyes seeming to bore into them. "Is there trouble?"

"Can we come in?" Natasha asked. Wanda's eyes flickered between the pair before acquiescing. She took a deep breath before shutting the door and facing them once more.

"You look tense, Wanda-" Steve turned to Natasha, guilt and concern lining his voice. "Nat, I can't do this."

"We need your help, Wanda." Natasha pushed past Steve and addressed her directly.

"My help?" A bitter smile formed on her face. "Or my powers?"

"Bucky is still not well– He too was experimented on, except they took some of his memories. The damage done to his mind is beyond the capabilities of science." Steve explained.

Wanda stood silently in contemplative silence, looking down at her hands. Natasha noticed there were scratch marks all over them, but said nothing.

"You need a miracle." Wanda muttered softly, the words of the HYDRA scientists' echoing in her head. Steve and Natasha shared a worried look when she wouldn't stop looking at her hands.

"Listen, Wanda, you have been a great addition to our team. We wouldn't be here without you." She whipped her head up at those words, the corners of her lips trembling into a smile. "We know it's a lot to ask, and you don't have to-"

"I want to." She interrupted, a surge of renewed confidence lightening her demeanor.

 

Bucky was deemed stable enough that the guards allowed him the solitude he requested at night. He was eating solid foods instead of being fed nutrients through an IV. They walked in on him chewing on one of Sam's homemade protein bars. He wiped his mouth of crumbs and gave a smile to Steve and Natasha, which disappeared when Wanda entered in as well.

"Buck, you remember Wanda?" Steve ushered her closer. The soldier simply nodded, the anxiety of someone entering his brain once more rendering him silent.

"You can still back out of this, at any point." Natasha reassured him. He didn't reply, simply laid back in his bed. Wanda took that as her cue to begin. She shot Steve a hesitant look and tried to still her hands from shaking.

"You are nervous, yes?" She asked Bucky, her hands glowing and hovering over him. He nodded once more. "Me too. Why don't I pull a pleasant memory for you to focus on while I work?" With a crook of her fingers, gleaming red streams of energy seeped into his mind and Bucky's eyes fluttered shut as the dream took over him.

 

* * *

 

_"I don't know which one is more unbelievable," James watched Natalia revving the engine to the highest gear, land dwindling behind them in the glimmer of seawater. "That you stole the Greek diplomat's boat, or that you actually know how to drive it."_

_"It shouldn't be any surprise to you that I am in fact full of surprises." She tore her eyes away from the expanse of ocean to smile at him, feeling his soft eyes on her. He was watching the way her dress billowed in the wind and her fiery locks of hair were combed away by the breeze._

_James ignored the distant sound of gunshots, no doubt the dead diplomat's men were doubly pissed at them. For the first time, his eyelids grew heavy with ease and he allowed them to shut, an unrestrained smile spreading across his face warmed by the sun. His breath was slow and even, in tune with rise and fall of the waves. His ears piqued when he heard Natalia humming softly and the engine die down. He blinked his eyes open to see she had stopped the boat and was languidly stalking towards him._

_"You need to work on your tan." Natalia joked while depositing herself in his lap. She hiked his shirt over his head and tossed it away before pressing herself against his warm and firm chest._

_"This is one of our first mission's outside of Russia." He argued in his defense. "And I won't get much of a tan in Siberia once they spot us and-"_

_"James," Natalia lifted her head to look at him, a hand stroking his cheek. "Relax, for me." He grunted softly in submission, and she granted him a smile before pressing her lips slowly against his. The grunt melted into a content moan as James' arms wrapped around Natalia and pressed her closer against him. Their skin warmed under of the heat of the sun and the friction of their bodies. He grabbed her chin with his flesh hand and pulled her away, their lips making a soft sound when they parted. He always loved the way she whined whenever they stopped, as if she couldn't get enough._

_"It shouldn't be any surprise to you that I don't know how to relax." He smirked at her, his metal fingers skimming against her thigh. "Maybe you should teach me." He knew he would get a laugh out of that, and he loved every second of the warm and airy sound before she got up and disappeared below deck._

_Natalia reappeared with a boxy radio in one hand and a chilled bottle of chardonnay in the other. She set the radio on a nearby table and turned the tuner knob until the static faded and music began to play:_

**Do you know the way to San Jose?  
** **I've been away so long**  
 **I may go wrong and lose my way.**

_Natalia sang along after taking a swig of the crisp wine. James pulled her back into his lap and she passed him to bottle for him to drink as well._

_"What if we went to San Jose?" Natalia mused while fiddling with a lock of his hair. James silenced such pleasant delusions with a kiss, the wine mingling with the taste of his lips._

The sun suddenly became brighter, blinding him in light and heat until he couldn't see a thing.

 

"Do you know the way to San Jose?" Bucky muttered softly, not fully awake. His eyes flickered open to see Natalia hadn't changed a bit. Now it was his turn to be flooded with the contentment of nostalgia.

 

_"It worked."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support and feedback you guys have given me. It really means a lot


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